At last, a meaningful immigration bill!

No, not really. Actually it is more like your favorite bootlegger's son/whisky swiller/all-around good driver, Ted Kennedy, teaming up with John (excuse me while I wrap this flag around myself) McCain to draft a bipartisan amnes... er.. immigration bill.


So what is wrong with this whole amnesty thing? It is admission that we have lost control of our borders so we will just re-set the clock of legality and keep on letting folks pour in. Further, it is racist vote pandering. The bipartisan number crunchers know that it takes just a few million swing voters to decide their political future so they invariably show up in a black church for the first and last time ever, gingerly kiss an asian baby or two, and promise not to do anything meaningful to anger the “latino” voters. I can just see a bunch of these presidential (or theoretical) candidates sitting down playing race card poker:

Jesse/Al: Hmmm, I possess with finesse, a hand of great largesse. Gaze now upon my inner-city straight flush.

Pat Buchanan: I got a full house of South Florida Jews.

Jesse/Al: Damn, Hymietown strikes again!

Rudy: Everyone loves me so they gave me all these cards. Anyone want these conservative credibility cards?

Hillary: I’m the mom, I have six queens!

Kucinich: Hey you cheater, there are only four queens in the deck!
(dark suited men enter, Kucinich disappears)

Jeb Bush: I got some Cuban jacks, top that!

McKennedy twins: Hah, we got a full meat packing pla… I mean a perfectly straight record of helping the brown man overcome!

Vilsack: I got white cards, anybody need the ones with smelly hair and sandals?

Dean: YeEEEeAArrrGHHh! I’ll take those!

Obama: I got a get out of jail free card and a “Pass go and collect anything you want from the adoring masses” card. I’d like to play those but I’m late, I must attend a campaign stop, something about making wine and breaking fish in half.


Hey, I have an idea, how about courting American votes. Not brown, white, rich, poor, black, yellow votes, American votes. That would sound like some platitude out of an Obama book, but to do it correctly would require a candidate to say what he/she believed in, what they would work for and leave it at that. I am sure many groups would be offended. Too bad.

So McCain wants to court voters of one demographic. Fine, everyone is doing it right? Yes, except that unchecked immigration destabilizes our economy, fractures our society, and opens us up to a fair number of tan-skinned folks who can’t hit a lick of Spanish but are probably fluent in Arabic or some derivative.
Okay you may say, so McCain is not the brightest for pushing something that will hurt the country. Is he really the devil or just misguided?
Nope, he is the devil incarnate because he will pander to the “latino vote” while his campaign not so subtly shoves down our throats what a great American war hero he is. I find it patently dishonest to push an obviously anti-american policy while wrapping one’s self so tightly in the flag.

The is a lot more wrong with immigration and with McCain(campaign finance reform). I hope to address more of both in the future.